My Mental Emotion. ~My Nightmares Come Again.~

You are hurt me.

You make me cry.

You harass me.

You try to beat me.

You have abused me.

You have touched me.

I have cried every night in fear.

I am scared to see you.

But you know what?!

You have succeeded.

Ill leave this world.

Ill die for your joy.

Now how do you feel?

Do you feel great you caused someone to die?

Well you did. 

Now live with it.
------------------------

Pain is my Joy.
It keeps me alive,
It keeps me from burning on the inside.
id rather feel pain than nothing at all,
Because without my pain i would fall.
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From start to finish I wonder why
The cuts look good in this messed up lie
The blood that trickles down my arm
People all stare at the girl who self-harms:-

"The emo" they call me
I turn to my name
They act out slicing their wrists
I hang my head in shame
I can't help my feelings
Of being alone
I hide myself for the day
Just longing to go home
I sprawl on my bed
With my razor in hand
And take myself away
To a much better land
I stare in the mirror
And let myself cry
Looking forward to the day
That I finally die-------------------------------

Rain, rain, go away,
Because of you the pain will stay.
Slit my throat, cut out my heart,
Leave me here, tear it apart.

Poison tears stream down my face,
My heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to stand again;
Alone and standing in the rain.

I don’t need you anymore…
Is what I think while tears pour.
I hate you like I hate my life;
But love is what cuts like a knife.

Love is death and death is you;
Its pain stains like a black tattoo.
Those memories come back again
And bind me in the ropes of pain.

Crimson blood streams down my head
Like a long, silk ribbon, tied by a thread,
To a platinum bullet, a hole in my skull…

...Now just a memory that’s faded and dull.-----------------------------------------------------------
The cold icy blade,
running across my skin,
Sending chills down my spine.
Crimson blood running down my wrist,
Dripping down drop by drop to the sink below me.
I feel calm, and in control.
The devil inside me has taken my soul.
The blade doing it's job one time, two times, three and more.
My vision goes blurry, the room goes dark, my heart pounds faster.
I wake up the next day groggy, confused.
People pounding on the bathroom door.
My brain pounding in my head.
I put on my best face,
Because they can't know,
They won't know.
I'll find an excuse, for everything.
And their world will be fine.
No matter if mine is a living hell.
they'll never know. Until it's to late.---------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt to pain everyday,
Seeing the scars on my wrist.
No one understands me,
My life is at risk.
Waiting everyday for the worst,
With a razor blade in my hand.
Getting ready to cut my wrist,
I can't wait until my life ends.
At school I hang my head low,
Always feeling ashamed.
Always making actions of slicing their wrist,
The only reason is,
The cuts and scars on My wrist.
Wanting my life to end every night.
People don't understand depression,
Thinking only Mental people have it.
But no one knows how it feels,
until I explain,
The life I live is real.
Teachers and parents walk by,
Seeing the scars on my wrists.
Never knowing,
I'm waiting for the day I die.------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever sat up at night,
And just let your barrier down?
Brick by brick.
I've sat in silence and cried..
Plenty of times.
I've let it defeat me,
Made me think I'm worthless,
I let the burden of my thoughts get to me.
Like safety pins and razors..
I regret it,
Now I've got the scars..
They remind me..
Of how the scarlet red trickled down my skin.
I regret the pleasure it gave me,
How I felt I needed it to happen.
I regret that I let my family and friends..
Down. Discover. Drown in pain.
All because..
I let the anxiety and wretchedness reach me.
I let it control me..
The pain, The pleasure.
It gave me peace.
Makes me cringe.
The thoughts I think.
Overtake me sometimes,
Sometimes..
I like to go back.
To the feelings,
To The way it was cold against my skin.
Sometimes..
I think I'm good enough to stop.
But something reminds me.
I'm not..
Just sometimes..
I'd like to end it all..
Only sometimes.-----------------------------

You look through drawers.. Once you find it..
What is it for..
You know damn well what its for.. You slid down the door..
You grip it tight in your right hand and pull up your sleeve..
You feel the cold metal press against your skin..
You press down till you know it's in..
Then?
You slice your wrist..
The pain stays not it going away..
You slice and dice again..
Pain... There it goes.. it's away..
Slice and Dice one more time.. Then you're fading away..
Your thinking great.. The
Slice and Dice worked..
You finally black out..
But..
You wake in the morning and think to yourself
Oh Shit her we go Again..